Trust isn’t built in moments—It’s revealed over time.
Even when leaders communicate clearly and with the best of intentions, people don’t just hear what’s said. They interpret it through what they have experienced.
And that’s why trust doesn’t automatically follow a strong message. It follows patterns. It responds to alignment. It grows in environments where words, actions, and systems all point in the same direction.
This article isn’t about how to sound more trustworthy. It’s about how trust works, and why what you signal matters more than what you say.
We often assume trust can be earned through clear messaging or good intent. But that’s not how it actually works.
Trust is formed through the consistent signals people receive over time—often quietly, often unconsciously.
Those signals come from:
Over time, these patterns become the answer to the question every team member is asking: Can I trust you?
Not based on what you say today, but based on what they’ve learned to expect from you.
Even when your message is sincere, trust may still not follow. Because people don’t just listen—they observe what happens next. They notice what happens after the words are said.
The experience includes:
When your message and your environment are out of sync, people notice. That’s what’s known as the Say–Do gap: when what you declare doesn’t match what people experience.
These contradictions are rarely intentional. But over time, they speak louder than any leadership statement or corporate value.
It's about being aware and attentive to what your team is truly experiencing, not just what you intended to communicate. In leadership, the loudest signals are seldom spoken.
At this point, the question becomes: How do I realign what I am signaling?
The good news is, trust isn’t rebuilt in one grand gesture. It’s restored in the same way it’s revealed. Gradually. Intentionally. Consistently.
That might look like:
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about congruence—when your words, actions, and environment all align in the same direction. Your direction doesn’t have to be flawless; it just needs to be honest, intentional, and visually coherent over time.
If you are a leader reflecting on trust in your team, start with small questions:
Trust isn’t a technique.
It’s not a performance.
It’s not something you can communicate your way into.
And as a leader, you don’t control what others see. But you do control what you repeatedly show. So if there’s one place to start, it’s here:
Because trust isn't asked for. It is recognised over time, through what you repeatedly show.
Start today.
Start small.
But start.
Written by:
Linda Tan-Spicer, Lead Development Strategist of ILS
Linda is a seasoned performance strategist with over 20 years of experience helping organisations and individuals thrive. Specialising in mindset work and behavioural change, she creates environments where people can discover their strengths, embrace their potential, and grow in meaningful ways.
Believing in the ripple effect of personal growth, Linda sees every step toward self-improvement as a benefit to teams, organisations, and society. At her core, she’s a coach and facilitator who walks alongside others on their journey to unlock potential, navigate challenges, and cultivate a fulfilling life.